Part One: My Past of Some Dirty Secrets (And Dirty Laundry)
Prologue: An Alien Among All...
Grooming my paws ever so delicately, I felt like a king, lying atop my Mister Puffy Pillow; it's stitched, googly kitty face staring up at me blankly...lifeless...
I paused from my grooming as I heard the washing machine buzzer, signifying that the soggy laundry was done with it’s cleaning. I hopped down from my throne, padding into the laundry room, which was scattered with reeking socks and towels. Odd, I thought, Wouldn't we have washed these things in this load? I gazed up at the washing machine quizzically, when a thought struck me. I tried to recall it, but I just couldn’t quite put my paw on it…shrugging off the thought, I scampered back to my pillow, to resume my bath. I had forgotten about it for a while, when suddenly it hit me in the middle of grooming my- well- never mind...but, we had never put any laundry in the washing machine…
-10/19/11
I paused from my grooming as I heard the washing machine buzzer, signifying that the soggy laundry was done with it’s cleaning. I hopped down from my throne, padding into the laundry room, which was scattered with reeking socks and towels. Odd, I thought, Wouldn't we have washed these things in this load? I gazed up at the washing machine quizzically, when a thought struck me. I tried to recall it, but I just couldn’t quite put my paw on it…shrugging off the thought, I scampered back to my pillow, to resume my bath. I had forgotten about it for a while, when suddenly it hit me in the middle of grooming my- well- never mind...but, we had never put any laundry in the washing machine…
-10/19/11
Chapter One: My Life of Crime
I was born like this. Never would I be able to choose my path to the future, to create my own life decisions. Being born on a planet where you take the role of your parents isn't easy, especially when it is completely against your will. I never wanted that. I never wanted to be a spy on Earth, invading the privacy of not only people, but other animals, too.
I should probably introduce myself before I proceed in this biography of my life. Firstly, my name is Bernie McMuffin. Yes, it is quite ridiculous, but I live for muffins, you see. They are my favorite treat, alright? Who cares if I am told to go on a diet here and there...any who, I am a cat. But only to the eye that does not look within. Into the soul, the heart. Through your eyes, I am a simple, mixed breed, everyday household cat. Neutered, fat, and retired from Cat Alien work. Gasp, you say? Well, well...I had a feeling that few would suspect this. Now, shall we move on to my monologue?
Indeed, I had taken after my parents after they retired from Cat Alien work. Back then in the day, they didn't have all these teleportation devices and programmed washing machines that we have currently. These cats would have to fly down in the classic space pod. Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but tell them about it.
So, my career as a Cat Alien spy took off when I graduated at Fluffaversity Spyware Network for the Freakishly Intelligent, at the top of my class. I could have been promoted to top general of the state, but my parents were set on me following in their footsteps. So there went my future, once again into their paws. I felt so dirty with my career. It never felt right to watch through my electronic binoculars through some freak's window on Earth.
After a few years of doing likewise as my forebears, there came a point where I could no longer withstand the madness that was overriding my society. It was like mad alien disease. We were running through the streets, papers and calculations flailing about concerning how we were planning on taking over the human race. It made me sick to watch, so I went to the planet Capitol and, at first, begged them to stop the madness. After their refusal, I came to my only option besides running away and facing death. I retired. I was young, still, in alien years. (Heck, we live for centuries) But nevertheless, I wiggled my way to the gates of freedom. The yellow brick road was right before my eyes! Standing at my will, right at my grasp! I had done what few other Cat Aliens had achieved. I had broken free.
Or so I thought...
-10/19/11
I should probably introduce myself before I proceed in this biography of my life. Firstly, my name is Bernie McMuffin. Yes, it is quite ridiculous, but I live for muffins, you see. They are my favorite treat, alright? Who cares if I am told to go on a diet here and there...any who, I am a cat. But only to the eye that does not look within. Into the soul, the heart. Through your eyes, I am a simple, mixed breed, everyday household cat. Neutered, fat, and retired from Cat Alien work. Gasp, you say? Well, well...I had a feeling that few would suspect this. Now, shall we move on to my monologue?
Indeed, I had taken after my parents after they retired from Cat Alien work. Back then in the day, they didn't have all these teleportation devices and programmed washing machines that we have currently. These cats would have to fly down in the classic space pod. Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but tell them about it.
So, my career as a Cat Alien spy took off when I graduated at Fluffaversity Spyware Network for the Freakishly Intelligent, at the top of my class. I could have been promoted to top general of the state, but my parents were set on me following in their footsteps. So there went my future, once again into their paws. I felt so dirty with my career. It never felt right to watch through my electronic binoculars through some freak's window on Earth.
After a few years of doing likewise as my forebears, there came a point where I could no longer withstand the madness that was overriding my society. It was like mad alien disease. We were running through the streets, papers and calculations flailing about concerning how we were planning on taking over the human race. It made me sick to watch, so I went to the planet Capitol and, at first, begged them to stop the madness. After their refusal, I came to my only option besides running away and facing death. I retired. I was young, still, in alien years. (Heck, we live for centuries) But nevertheless, I wiggled my way to the gates of freedom. The yellow brick road was right before my eyes! Standing at my will, right at my grasp! I had done what few other Cat Aliens had achieved. I had broken free.
Or so I thought...
-10/19/11
Chapter Two: A Gift to Die For
After I had caught sight of a humble dwelling in which I planned on enjoying my retirement, I put my game face on. Limping up to the doorstep quite dramatically, I whimpered quite disturbingly. It was quite a scene; I even had fake blood to touch up the effect. When the house door opened before me, the sweet aroma of cinnamon and cookies encircled me, as the did the little hands that reached down toward my 'banged up' body. I was curled into the arms of a tiny girl, who cradled me like an angel. I knew from that moment on; this house was like heaven, as long as they held a steady supply of muffins.
So here I am three years later, enjoying life a little too much. I gained a little weight over the years, but not to say that I was obese by any means...well, maybe I was...but that is besides the point. I had been napping that day, in the girl's lap who had rescued me that day, Kimmie was her name. A little bouncy five year old at the time, she had thought me as her child, stuffing a bottle in my mouth whenever I yawned. A pain in the neck at times, she was, but I love her unconditionally.
So yes, back to my nap. I had awoken to a rustle in the laundry basket, like a scratching on the plastic bottom. Sitting in a corner, it was, in the laundry room. One eye of mine peeping open, I watched the smelly basket for a while, until I could no longer withstand my drowsiness. And I let go, drifting off to sleep, dreaming of a land of dirty laundry...
I had awaken once again, Kimmie and the family were gone to Grandma's, but I awoke to a quiet, slight noise...so slight that it was barely a tickle in my ear...and it was coming from the laundry basket. After all my years in the line of evil duty, (Hee hee, duty...!) I had picked up on some things here and there, like faint ticking that was now currently filling the room, growing slightly louder and faster with every second. I knew just what it was. Leaping from my mountain pillow stack, a scrambled for the kitty door. It was only accessible by my special collar, like a magnetic key. I paused for the door click, signifying that it was unlocked. But it never did. I desperately reached a paw up to my throat, but my collar wasn't there. Nobody was home. There was no way out. I was trapped, and there was a bomb in the laundry basket...
-10/20/11
So here I am three years later, enjoying life a little too much. I gained a little weight over the years, but not to say that I was obese by any means...well, maybe I was...but that is besides the point. I had been napping that day, in the girl's lap who had rescued me that day, Kimmie was her name. A little bouncy five year old at the time, she had thought me as her child, stuffing a bottle in my mouth whenever I yawned. A pain in the neck at times, she was, but I love her unconditionally.
So yes, back to my nap. I had awoken to a rustle in the laundry basket, like a scratching on the plastic bottom. Sitting in a corner, it was, in the laundry room. One eye of mine peeping open, I watched the smelly basket for a while, until I could no longer withstand my drowsiness. And I let go, drifting off to sleep, dreaming of a land of dirty laundry...
I had awaken once again, Kimmie and the family were gone to Grandma's, but I awoke to a quiet, slight noise...so slight that it was barely a tickle in my ear...and it was coming from the laundry basket. After all my years in the line of evil duty, (Hee hee, duty...!) I had picked up on some things here and there, like faint ticking that was now currently filling the room, growing slightly louder and faster with every second. I knew just what it was. Leaping from my mountain pillow stack, a scrambled for the kitty door. It was only accessible by my special collar, like a magnetic key. I paused for the door click, signifying that it was unlocked. But it never did. I desperately reached a paw up to my throat, but my collar wasn't there. Nobody was home. There was no way out. I was trapped, and there was a bomb in the laundry basket...
-10/20/11
Chapter Three: Old Times Return
I awaited the blow that was surely to come. I knew it was just seconds before I was blown to bits, my chunky remains of fur the only proof that I had been here, living the life. Bracing myself, teeth clenched, eyes squeezed tight; I was ready for anything. Except for what happened next. The beeping stopped. I dared to peek an eye open, afraid now that the bomb would go off, and my eyes would be blown to little crisps, without my eyelids to protect them. Not that it would matter much, as most likely there would be nothing left of me. But instead of an explosion of flames, there was a massive cloud of smoke that immediately filled the room thickly. My instincts kicked in right away. Crouching low to the floor, one paw covering my mouth, I crawled along the linoleum, trying to catch a piece of fabric to breath into. But it was hopeless. The gas was overwhelming me, strangling my throat in it's bitter odor. The green gas encircled me in it's wrath, and I collapsed to the floor.
SLAP! A pair of claws slashed across my fuzzy cheek, awaking me with a painful start. I cried out as blood trickled down my face, dripping unto the floor. I looked down, to find that I was bound with thick wire and rope, topped off with a chain that wrapped me to a a menacing chair with cords shooting out left and right. An electric chair. I then looked in front of me, only to find a I figure with a cape pulled tightly together, almost bat-like, a little too close to my face.
"Er..." I stammered. The cape whipped open so suddenly, I jerked back, tipping my chair, my head smacking the cement floor, just adding to my current pain. A crazed laugh filled my ears. I could not see over the chair, and I found that my neck was held in place by a crafty brace made of metal, and more wires. I was jerked once more as the chair I was strapped to whipped upright, revealing the crazed creature. At first I was terrified of the possibilities of whom it may be, but my fear was quickly expunged. Standing before me in a black cape with, not quite surprisingly, spikes lining the tall collar, was my ole-buddy-ole-pal that I hated since college. Evil Mister Fluffy Face, holding his pet mouse, Mr. Puff Puff Cheesy Cake. Fluffy's blue body shimmered under the common ceiling lamp used for questioning, and his stripes just added to the effect of handsomeness. The only thing that I was jealous of, however, was that he was slim and fit. Anyhow... how he scowled at me with such an ecstatic face, being that hateful and joyous at the same time didn't seem at all possible. It was likes nothing I had ever seen before; a mad man. A disease of evil! His cried out his cackle once again, attempting to give me the creeps, but I simply glowered. His smile soon faded, and there we were; two Cat Aliens, staring at each other. He opened his tiny lips so I could just barely see the tips of his fangs, and croaked out,
"Welcome home, my brother..."
10/24/11
SLAP! A pair of claws slashed across my fuzzy cheek, awaking me with a painful start. I cried out as blood trickled down my face, dripping unto the floor. I looked down, to find that I was bound with thick wire and rope, topped off with a chain that wrapped me to a a menacing chair with cords shooting out left and right. An electric chair. I then looked in front of me, only to find a I figure with a cape pulled tightly together, almost bat-like, a little too close to my face.
"Er..." I stammered. The cape whipped open so suddenly, I jerked back, tipping my chair, my head smacking the cement floor, just adding to my current pain. A crazed laugh filled my ears. I could not see over the chair, and I found that my neck was held in place by a crafty brace made of metal, and more wires. I was jerked once more as the chair I was strapped to whipped upright, revealing the crazed creature. At first I was terrified of the possibilities of whom it may be, but my fear was quickly expunged. Standing before me in a black cape with, not quite surprisingly, spikes lining the tall collar, was my ole-buddy-ole-pal that I hated since college. Evil Mister Fluffy Face, holding his pet mouse, Mr. Puff Puff Cheesy Cake. Fluffy's blue body shimmered under the common ceiling lamp used for questioning, and his stripes just added to the effect of handsomeness. The only thing that I was jealous of, however, was that he was slim and fit. Anyhow... how he scowled at me with such an ecstatic face, being that hateful and joyous at the same time didn't seem at all possible. It was likes nothing I had ever seen before; a mad man. A disease of evil! His cried out his cackle once again, attempting to give me the creeps, but I simply glowered. His smile soon faded, and there we were; two Cat Aliens, staring at each other. He opened his tiny lips so I could just barely see the tips of his fangs, and croaked out,
"Welcome home, my brother..."
10/24/11
Part Two: The Action Begins, and Some Other Weird Stuff That Isn't Supposed to Happen in Nature
Prologue: Straightening it Out
I feel the need to tell you why I hate my brother, so. Let me just put it simply; we are complete opposites. There is nothing in common we share, except blood.
All my life I have struggled to please him, to show him that I was worthy of being in a rank so high as his, king. But he thought otherwise. He wanted me to run the spy network, to give him key information to make his rule even more powerful.
It was not until three years ago when I realized exactly what his whole game was. I was his figurehead, his puppet. But not anymore. I am now solo, and will never again fall to his feet, begging for his approval.
So there it is, basically my brother. The eldest, 7 and a half pounds, the king of Fluffalump, and a complete jerk; wasted on his own glory. Now, I suppose you would probably care more to get on with the good stuff...
All my life I have struggled to please him, to show him that I was worthy of being in a rank so high as his, king. But he thought otherwise. He wanted me to run the spy network, to give him key information to make his rule even more powerful.
It was not until three years ago when I realized exactly what his whole game was. I was his figurehead, his puppet. But not anymore. I am now solo, and will never again fall to his feet, begging for his approval.
So there it is, basically my brother. The eldest, 7 and a half pounds, the king of Fluffalump, and a complete jerk; wasted on his own glory. Now, I suppose you would probably care more to get on with the good stuff...
Chapter Four: Two Peas in a Space Pod
"What are you doing here?" I spat. My scowl could not penetrate through his evil, satisfied grin. Fluffy was indestructible to anyone he thought lower than himself.
His freak smile didn't cease as he spoke. "Well now, is that any way to greet your brother, after it's been so long?" asked Fluffy, his blue fur glistening likewise as his fangs beneath the blinding lamp.
I set my jaw hard, my fur puffing to incredible size. "What do you want with me? I retired respectfully and legally. What is the problem? I did nothing wrong!"
Fluffy puffed out his chest proudly, inhaling the moment in which he knew who was on top of this argument. He was superior.
"Ah-ha," he boasted. "but that is where you are wrong. You see, when you came to HQ, requesting an early retirement out of your inheritance, officials did a study that showed you indeed had no inheritance yet. Nothing in your will. The same goes for mine. Why is this? Because nobody in our family is dead, you idiot! You actually thought that I would not notice that? You must have known, even the greatest of fools could have seen it coming. How could you not? Unless...could it be that you don't care about our family, simply not giving a breath in their direction, eh? Tell me now, Bernie Boo-"
I hissed harshly as he said my cruel nickname, the he had given me as a kitten. This was too far, I could take it no longer.
"You will DARE not call me of that name, brother!" I shrieked. "You will treat me with respect as I did you, before you became...this- this- miserable excuse for a ruler! You make me sick, all swelled in the head with your horrible ideas for the future. All the glory that you crave...you dare call yourself a ruler, brother! Well, you shall not any further from this point on! For this is the day...the time..." I stopped speaking, but a low growl remained deep in my throat.
Fluffy chuckled as if I was child, unable to comprehend reality from my imagination. But I knew better. I knew of this game. He was trying to pin me down, to make me think that I was, indeed, still in kitten-hood. I had seen this before...
My growling grew louder, as his chuckling continued into a full out hysterical laugh. "You will treat me like this no longer, Fluffy Face. For I-"
He gasped in the midst of a hiss, sounding more like he needed to hack up a little something rather than to give me a menacing fright.
He coughed before spatting; "What is that, you squawk? You say I dare? You are the fool to dare! You shall not treat you ruler with such puke-ish respect! For years, you have known, that I shall no longer be humiliated by that horrid name our parents had thrust upon me...you shall forever call me King Worthywhether, and you shall state it with high respect, pride, and honor, to your rightful king."
I shook my head violently. I would not withstand this madness. Rightful king? "You fool! Never would I call my brother by a name that is not truly his, never! Rightful king, my litter box!" (For the record- that's a fairly unforgivable insult...)
"But this is besides the point. What do you wish to have done with me? For what reasons and with what charges?" I received no answer, as Fluffy was lost in his world of giggles and delightful shrieks.
Fluffy- ahem, King Wiltywart or whoever- was losing his mind. Slipping away, ever so slowly. When I left three years ago was when I really started seeing what lied within that cat. What truly was inside of him. Evil. Misery. Hatred...for me, and for all who did not wish to obey his every command and desire. As if he figured it would scare me as it did as a kitten, he dropped his laugh so quickly it was almost comedic, and peered around the room, eyes boggling, as if there was something lurking, with his fangs glowing red like blood. What was his sick game? What pleasure did he get out of my torture?
He proceeded in his freakish face, almost teasing me. "Ah, Bernie, poor, poor Bernie; where have you been? You lied to the court, to your own society, your family, and me. Tell me now, little Bernie, why did want to run and hide from your home planet? From me, hmm? Do tell..."
I could never share this with him. I could never give myself away like that. It was now the last thing I had to hold onto of myself. Besides this information, I was a lone, desolate cat with no hope or future. I looked up to him squarely, face to face, my tail puffing and hair tingling. My nose twitched with rage. I could barely get the words out, I was so furious.
"You...are...one true s-" My sentence was interrupted as alarms suddenly blared, sounding left and right. The room went dark in red lights, flashing in every nook and cranny. What was happening? Fluffy scrambled around the room, calling guards, security, the ones with guns.
In his moment of shrieking in fear for his own life, something tickled my foot. I looked down, to find a beautiful, red and yellow leaf with a tiny paw print pressed in ink, splattered right in the center of the oak leaf. I paused. This planet, Planet Fluffalump, does not have oak trees...and then I knew at once. It all came together. The guards would not be coming to help Fluffy in what would happen next...
10/25/11
His freak smile didn't cease as he spoke. "Well now, is that any way to greet your brother, after it's been so long?" asked Fluffy, his blue fur glistening likewise as his fangs beneath the blinding lamp.
I set my jaw hard, my fur puffing to incredible size. "What do you want with me? I retired respectfully and legally. What is the problem? I did nothing wrong!"
Fluffy puffed out his chest proudly, inhaling the moment in which he knew who was on top of this argument. He was superior.
"Ah-ha," he boasted. "but that is where you are wrong. You see, when you came to HQ, requesting an early retirement out of your inheritance, officials did a study that showed you indeed had no inheritance yet. Nothing in your will. The same goes for mine. Why is this? Because nobody in our family is dead, you idiot! You actually thought that I would not notice that? You must have known, even the greatest of fools could have seen it coming. How could you not? Unless...could it be that you don't care about our family, simply not giving a breath in their direction, eh? Tell me now, Bernie Boo-"
I hissed harshly as he said my cruel nickname, the he had given me as a kitten. This was too far, I could take it no longer.
"You will DARE not call me of that name, brother!" I shrieked. "You will treat me with respect as I did you, before you became...this- this- miserable excuse for a ruler! You make me sick, all swelled in the head with your horrible ideas for the future. All the glory that you crave...you dare call yourself a ruler, brother! Well, you shall not any further from this point on! For this is the day...the time..." I stopped speaking, but a low growl remained deep in my throat.
Fluffy chuckled as if I was child, unable to comprehend reality from my imagination. But I knew better. I knew of this game. He was trying to pin me down, to make me think that I was, indeed, still in kitten-hood. I had seen this before...
My growling grew louder, as his chuckling continued into a full out hysterical laugh. "You will treat me like this no longer, Fluffy Face. For I-"
He gasped in the midst of a hiss, sounding more like he needed to hack up a little something rather than to give me a menacing fright.
He coughed before spatting; "What is that, you squawk? You say I dare? You are the fool to dare! You shall not treat you ruler with such puke-ish respect! For years, you have known, that I shall no longer be humiliated by that horrid name our parents had thrust upon me...you shall forever call me King Worthywhether, and you shall state it with high respect, pride, and honor, to your rightful king."
I shook my head violently. I would not withstand this madness. Rightful king? "You fool! Never would I call my brother by a name that is not truly his, never! Rightful king, my litter box!" (For the record- that's a fairly unforgivable insult...)
"But this is besides the point. What do you wish to have done with me? For what reasons and with what charges?" I received no answer, as Fluffy was lost in his world of giggles and delightful shrieks.
Fluffy- ahem, King Wiltywart or whoever- was losing his mind. Slipping away, ever so slowly. When I left three years ago was when I really started seeing what lied within that cat. What truly was inside of him. Evil. Misery. Hatred...for me, and for all who did not wish to obey his every command and desire. As if he figured it would scare me as it did as a kitten, he dropped his laugh so quickly it was almost comedic, and peered around the room, eyes boggling, as if there was something lurking, with his fangs glowing red like blood. What was his sick game? What pleasure did he get out of my torture?
He proceeded in his freakish face, almost teasing me. "Ah, Bernie, poor, poor Bernie; where have you been? You lied to the court, to your own society, your family, and me. Tell me now, little Bernie, why did want to run and hide from your home planet? From me, hmm? Do tell..."
I could never share this with him. I could never give myself away like that. It was now the last thing I had to hold onto of myself. Besides this information, I was a lone, desolate cat with no hope or future. I looked up to him squarely, face to face, my tail puffing and hair tingling. My nose twitched with rage. I could barely get the words out, I was so furious.
"You...are...one true s-" My sentence was interrupted as alarms suddenly blared, sounding left and right. The room went dark in red lights, flashing in every nook and cranny. What was happening? Fluffy scrambled around the room, calling guards, security, the ones with guns.
In his moment of shrieking in fear for his own life, something tickled my foot. I looked down, to find a beautiful, red and yellow leaf with a tiny paw print pressed in ink, splattered right in the center of the oak leaf. I paused. This planet, Planet Fluffalump, does not have oak trees...and then I knew at once. It all came together. The guards would not be coming to help Fluffy in what would happen next...
10/25/11
Part Three: To the Present
Chapter Five: The Eyes in the Alley
Outlandish abilities had always been accustomed to Puss Puss, the oddity of the ally cats. It was a known fact that his eyes were strongly commanding and that rarely did he speak to another cat. Now he was alone, just how he liked it, and he stared into the house of Bernie McMuffin, the pampered house cat. How he anguished await for the day he'd see the spoiled animal in his proper place.
Puss Puss's glowing eyes cut through the night sky like a knife. He sat and stared, waiting, like he had done every full moon for the past ten years. Yes, it was strange. He'd lived so long it seamed almost unearthly, even a little alien.
The black curtain of night covered the ally where he sat, with very little light shining. Suddenly a flash and Puss Puss's face looked so delightful that it was rather eerie. For a strange aircraft had created the flash, something that would make normal cats cower in fear.
Puss Puss was ecstatic, nearly overwhelmed with happiness. "Finally," He breathed very airy, "the time has come."
And then his fur grew prickly, teeth sharp, and ears sprouted antennae. He foamed rabidly and stood tall on his hind legs. A menacing laugh chopped through the air.
Scotty, a young ally cat who'd known Puss Puss, watched it all happen. He shivered. Alien, this cat was an alien. That was one of many thoughts circulating through his mind. "I have to warn everyone." He muttered. Then a sudden quiver of fear went down his spine. Bernie McMuffin was a retired alien cat. They were going to be after him first. "I have to save my friend." And Scotty took off to find help.
Puss Puss's glowing eyes cut through the night sky like a knife. He sat and stared, waiting, like he had done every full moon for the past ten years. Yes, it was strange. He'd lived so long it seamed almost unearthly, even a little alien.
The black curtain of night covered the ally where he sat, with very little light shining. Suddenly a flash and Puss Puss's face looked so delightful that it was rather eerie. For a strange aircraft had created the flash, something that would make normal cats cower in fear.
Puss Puss was ecstatic, nearly overwhelmed with happiness. "Finally," He breathed very airy, "the time has come."
And then his fur grew prickly, teeth sharp, and ears sprouted antennae. He foamed rabidly and stood tall on his hind legs. A menacing laugh chopped through the air.
Scotty, a young ally cat who'd known Puss Puss, watched it all happen. He shivered. Alien, this cat was an alien. That was one of many thoughts circulating through his mind. "I have to warn everyone." He muttered. Then a sudden quiver of fear went down his spine. Bernie McMuffin was a retired alien cat. They were going to be after him first. "I have to save my friend." And Scotty took off to find help.
Chapter Six:
With the wind against him and cold rain flying downward like bullets, Scotty ran till his muscles were screaming. What he just saw scared all sense out of him yet at the same time he knew what must be done.
Stopping at a rather familiar dumpster he meowed and awaited an answer. It came and out appeared Bravery, another stray. She was so named for her lack of courage; her voice was always skittish and eyes fast to catch the slightest movement. Small explorations worried her, but she did not worry for herself. She was always concerned for her friends. Bravery was a very selfless cat and no other was like her.
Scotty collapsed out of breath, his chest heaved and gasped for air. Bravery ran to his side. “Scotty! Are you all right?” She asked in her usual apprehensive voice.
“Horrible.” He sighed, for it was all he had strength for. The two sat a while with Bravery muttering nervously waiting for him to be able to tell his tale.
When he eventually did the rain had turned to a sprinkle and the wind died down a bit. “Puss Puss, he transformed!”
Bravery’s heart paused. “What do you mean?” She was afraid of what the answer would be.
Scotty looked at her solemnly. “Bravery, it’s happening. I saw a ship fly through the sky and then Puss Puss h-he turned into an alien.”
“Then, it has started.” She said gravely, hoping that the worn-out ally cat would jump up and say “Gotcha!” but he didn’t.
The truth was, it had started. The very thing that the ally cats dreaded, it was the beginning of the end and now they must choose either to live an evil life or die fighting against it. While others would decide on the sooner Bravery and Scotty had put all their cards on fighting a very long time ago. They were both descendants of the inhabitants of planet Fluffiluff and knew the punishment for the crime against their own kind. However, they’d both seen how cruel life could be in the paws of the evil alien dictators.
Scotty’s sister, and Bravery’s long ago friend, had been killed at the claws of Fluffy Face, the alien leader. Her name had been Fern; she had been a kindhearted cat with the sweetest voice. But she’d spoken out against the tyranny and was executed with no trail. Ever since Scotty had been a very silent cat. He only talked to those who he was close to and Bravery knew better then anyone what Fern had meant to him. His mother he barley remembered, she died shortly after she gave birth to Fern and Scotty. His father was also a very vague memory. All he knew was that the cat was an important alien spy and probably didn’t even know that Scotty still lived.
The cat continued his story. “We need to tell everyone who we know will rebel. Acorn will surely want to know.” Acorn was another stray that’d always been many tail lengths out of reach of the aliens. He could climb trees better then a squirrel and always knew of things happening, on Earth and beyond it. He heard stuff staying in those trees of his and was quick to help a cat in need.
“Also,” Scotty had not finished, “we must go to Bernie McMuffin. He may be in danger.”
“Bernie? Why Bernie?” Bravery asked.
“He’s a retired spy, one of the best. I’ll bet anything that they want him on their side. They might even put him in a dryer.”
Alien cats had been known to use various human contraptions for their own deeds. Washers, for example, were teleportation devices. They were much more subtle then flying spacecraft. Dryers were brain washers. To put a cat in a dryer was ultimate torture, it was said that you could slowly feel your brain loosing all of its memory and slip out of your control. The aliens used them on rebels mostly, it was an effective way to grasp their minds and make them do tasks they would not willingly do.
“No!” Gasped Bravery. “We should go to him immediately.”
“Not yet. We need more back up in case there are any alien cats there.” Said Scotty sensibly. But Bravery looked very worried. What if they got there too late? Scotty understood her thoughts just by her expression. “Let’s at least get Acorn.”
Bravery trembled. “I’m scared.”
Scotty wished he were better with words, he desperately wanted to help her put aside the fretting and comfort Bravery. “Fear makes us braver in a way, and also more careful. So, yes, be afraid. But think reasonably at the same time, I need your brain on our side if we’re to get anywhere in the future.”
She nodded and they both took off in the direction of the forest where they were sure to find Acorn sitting in a branch somewhere.
Stopping at a rather familiar dumpster he meowed and awaited an answer. It came and out appeared Bravery, another stray. She was so named for her lack of courage; her voice was always skittish and eyes fast to catch the slightest movement. Small explorations worried her, but she did not worry for herself. She was always concerned for her friends. Bravery was a very selfless cat and no other was like her.
Scotty collapsed out of breath, his chest heaved and gasped for air. Bravery ran to his side. “Scotty! Are you all right?” She asked in her usual apprehensive voice.
“Horrible.” He sighed, for it was all he had strength for. The two sat a while with Bravery muttering nervously waiting for him to be able to tell his tale.
When he eventually did the rain had turned to a sprinkle and the wind died down a bit. “Puss Puss, he transformed!”
Bravery’s heart paused. “What do you mean?” She was afraid of what the answer would be.
Scotty looked at her solemnly. “Bravery, it’s happening. I saw a ship fly through the sky and then Puss Puss h-he turned into an alien.”
“Then, it has started.” She said gravely, hoping that the worn-out ally cat would jump up and say “Gotcha!” but he didn’t.
The truth was, it had started. The very thing that the ally cats dreaded, it was the beginning of the end and now they must choose either to live an evil life or die fighting against it. While others would decide on the sooner Bravery and Scotty had put all their cards on fighting a very long time ago. They were both descendants of the inhabitants of planet Fluffiluff and knew the punishment for the crime against their own kind. However, they’d both seen how cruel life could be in the paws of the evil alien dictators.
Scotty’s sister, and Bravery’s long ago friend, had been killed at the claws of Fluffy Face, the alien leader. Her name had been Fern; she had been a kindhearted cat with the sweetest voice. But she’d spoken out against the tyranny and was executed with no trail. Ever since Scotty had been a very silent cat. He only talked to those who he was close to and Bravery knew better then anyone what Fern had meant to him. His mother he barley remembered, she died shortly after she gave birth to Fern and Scotty. His father was also a very vague memory. All he knew was that the cat was an important alien spy and probably didn’t even know that Scotty still lived.
The cat continued his story. “We need to tell everyone who we know will rebel. Acorn will surely want to know.” Acorn was another stray that’d always been many tail lengths out of reach of the aliens. He could climb trees better then a squirrel and always knew of things happening, on Earth and beyond it. He heard stuff staying in those trees of his and was quick to help a cat in need.
“Also,” Scotty had not finished, “we must go to Bernie McMuffin. He may be in danger.”
“Bernie? Why Bernie?” Bravery asked.
“He’s a retired spy, one of the best. I’ll bet anything that they want him on their side. They might even put him in a dryer.”
Alien cats had been known to use various human contraptions for their own deeds. Washers, for example, were teleportation devices. They were much more subtle then flying spacecraft. Dryers were brain washers. To put a cat in a dryer was ultimate torture, it was said that you could slowly feel your brain loosing all of its memory and slip out of your control. The aliens used them on rebels mostly, it was an effective way to grasp their minds and make them do tasks they would not willingly do.
“No!” Gasped Bravery. “We should go to him immediately.”
“Not yet. We need more back up in case there are any alien cats there.” Said Scotty sensibly. But Bravery looked very worried. What if they got there too late? Scotty understood her thoughts just by her expression. “Let’s at least get Acorn.”
Bravery trembled. “I’m scared.”
Scotty wished he were better with words, he desperately wanted to help her put aside the fretting and comfort Bravery. “Fear makes us braver in a way, and also more careful. So, yes, be afraid. But think reasonably at the same time, I need your brain on our side if we’re to get anywhere in the future.”
She nodded and they both took off in the direction of the forest where they were sure to find Acorn sitting in a branch somewhere.
Chapter Seven: Confrontation
Scotty watched the oak leaf Acorn had tossed fall to the ground. It was the signal they were all waiting for. Bravery jumped out from behind her hiding place, the washer and dryer in the corner of the room, and landed right on top of Evil Mr. Fluffy Face. Fluffy Face was surprised but easily recovered and pushed Bravery away with his hind legs. Bernie caught on to the plan quickly and ran at his brother, and then the alien cat reinforcements appeared. That was Scotty’s signal.
While Bernie had kept his brother talking Scotty had clawed a circle in the bottom of the vent he was in, which was conveniently located on the ceiling. Now he jumped through the hole, it was the perfect aerial attack.
Deputy Puss Puss was indeed surprised. Scotty landed on him with claws extended and bit him on his shoulder. The alien cat yowled with pain and reared backward, Scotty instinctively backed off, darted behind him, and knocked Deputy Puss Puss’s paws out from underneath him. He backed away as the evil cat crashed down.
Scotty saw this as a moment to catch his breath. He turned to look at the battle unfolding around him.
Bravery and Bernie were attacking Fluffy Face, they were on either side of him jabbing and slashing their forepaws driving him backward. Acorn had a guard pinned to the ground taking no notice of another cat sneaking up behind him. Scotty gave a meow of warning just in time for Acorn to look up and send his claws right across the cat’s muzzle.
He made a move to help Acorn, but before Scotty could take a step Deputy Puss Puss leapt to his paws, hissing fiercely, and grabbed him by the scruff. As he held Scotty in his jaws, he kicked out with his strong hind legs and sent Scotty sprawling into a wall. The alien pinned Scotty down before he could get back to his paws and made a move to bite his throat, and then suddenly stopped. Deputy Puss Puss stared at the cat struggling beneath him with wide eyes. “Y-you.“ He stammered.
Scotty took the opportunity and clawed at Deputy Puss Puss’s exposed stomach, and then kicked him off. He then jumped to his paws and turned to face his enemy but Deputy Puss Puss had run toward Fluffy Face who was cornered by Bernie McMuffin and Bravery. The deputy jumped at Bravery and raked his claws along her flank. Scotty wrestled Deputy Puss Puss off of her and pummeled his belly with his hind claws. The alien cat suddenly went limp so he was able to slip away, Scotty expected him to turn around on him but Deputy Puss Puss ran towards the fight Acorn was having. Why won’t he face me? He wondered.
Acorn had already sent both of the cats he was fighting into a retreat and turned at the deputy with out even a small decrease of energy. Scotty looked at the fight between Bernie and Fluffy Face, he wasn’t sure what had happened but Bernie was lashing out at his brother and the evil dictator simply dodged, jabbing and taunting him every time there was an opening.
Scotty leapt on top of Fluffy Face and rolled him onto his back. He clung to his fur and raked his back claws along the alien’s spine until Fluffy Face was thrashing around violently and growling furiously. He finally managed to throw Scotty off but Bernie was ready and didn’t give him a moment to rest. The two brothers rolled around hissing and scratching at each other with nothing but pure loathing masking their eyes.
Scotty looked back at Acorn, Deputy Puss Puss was a tough fighter but Bravery had gone to help the old cat. All around the Earth cats were winning and Scotty was just beginning to grow confident when even more of Fluffy Face’s reinforcements came out from everywhere. Bernie McMuffin looked up from his fight and saw about one hundred aliens coming to help their dictator. “Retreat!” He yelled. Scotty didn’t want to look like a coward but they were dreadfully out numbered. He waited until Acorn and Bravery shook away Deputy Puss Puss before he started running with Bernie.
The four cats ran toward the washer in the corner of the room. “Don’t let them get away!” Fluffy Face screamed.
“Hurry, get in!” Bernie said when they reached the transporting device.
“Do you know how to work this thing?” Bravery asked as she climbed in.
Bernie McMuffin, the former alien cat spy, nodded. Once they were all in the washer he hit a button with his paw just in time for several guards to smack right into the door that had not been there a second ago. And the four cats were transported back to Earth.
They appeared in Bernie McMuffin’s home. Bernie looked around, it seemed a bit odd, like he’d been away for years and his memories weren’t quite right. So much had happened since he was last here, taking a catnap.
The four cats hurried to an open window before any of his owners noticed them and ran down the street, to the dumpster where they usually met. The path was empty thankfully, but the cars going by smelled horrid. Even the stench of the dumpster couldn’t match up with the disgusting human contraptions.
Bravery sat down on the bricked ground of the alley with a sigh. “What now?” Her voice was full of uneasiness.
Acorn was the first to speak up. “We warn everyone don’t we?” They all thought for a minute. Everything that had happened in the past few hours seemed to finally settle in. War was upon them, they had to choose between protecting the humans and betraying their own kind or joining the aliens and becoming the very thing they hated, dictators. Fluffy Face already had one planet, and heq destroyed everything good about it. Now he was after another and wouldn’t stop till he got what he wanted.
“No.” Bernie spoke suddenly. “We only tell the people who we know will resist. We don’t need to start a civil war right in our own alley.” They all nodded and Bernie continued. “Bravery, I need you to get together everyone that has ever before mentioned being against The Fluffalump dictatorship and tell them to meet in my backyard at midnight tonight. Scotty, you’re going to be the spy, do not draw attention to yourself but listen closely to what all the other cats in the neighborhood are saying.”
“What about me? Acorn asked.
Bernie looked hesitant. “I was hoping to avoid it but you and I are going to the junkyard.”
Acorn looked shocked. “You’re not thinking about-“
“Unfortunately I am. We need someone who knows about the things happening on Planet Fluffalump.” Bernie looked like he was trying to convince himself.
“But he’s-“
“Yes, I know. He is crazy.”
While Bernie had kept his brother talking Scotty had clawed a circle in the bottom of the vent he was in, which was conveniently located on the ceiling. Now he jumped through the hole, it was the perfect aerial attack.
Deputy Puss Puss was indeed surprised. Scotty landed on him with claws extended and bit him on his shoulder. The alien cat yowled with pain and reared backward, Scotty instinctively backed off, darted behind him, and knocked Deputy Puss Puss’s paws out from underneath him. He backed away as the evil cat crashed down.
Scotty saw this as a moment to catch his breath. He turned to look at the battle unfolding around him.
Bravery and Bernie were attacking Fluffy Face, they were on either side of him jabbing and slashing their forepaws driving him backward. Acorn had a guard pinned to the ground taking no notice of another cat sneaking up behind him. Scotty gave a meow of warning just in time for Acorn to look up and send his claws right across the cat’s muzzle.
He made a move to help Acorn, but before Scotty could take a step Deputy Puss Puss leapt to his paws, hissing fiercely, and grabbed him by the scruff. As he held Scotty in his jaws, he kicked out with his strong hind legs and sent Scotty sprawling into a wall. The alien pinned Scotty down before he could get back to his paws and made a move to bite his throat, and then suddenly stopped. Deputy Puss Puss stared at the cat struggling beneath him with wide eyes. “Y-you.“ He stammered.
Scotty took the opportunity and clawed at Deputy Puss Puss’s exposed stomach, and then kicked him off. He then jumped to his paws and turned to face his enemy but Deputy Puss Puss had run toward Fluffy Face who was cornered by Bernie McMuffin and Bravery. The deputy jumped at Bravery and raked his claws along her flank. Scotty wrestled Deputy Puss Puss off of her and pummeled his belly with his hind claws. The alien cat suddenly went limp so he was able to slip away, Scotty expected him to turn around on him but Deputy Puss Puss ran towards the fight Acorn was having. Why won’t he face me? He wondered.
Acorn had already sent both of the cats he was fighting into a retreat and turned at the deputy with out even a small decrease of energy. Scotty looked at the fight between Bernie and Fluffy Face, he wasn’t sure what had happened but Bernie was lashing out at his brother and the evil dictator simply dodged, jabbing and taunting him every time there was an opening.
Scotty leapt on top of Fluffy Face and rolled him onto his back. He clung to his fur and raked his back claws along the alien’s spine until Fluffy Face was thrashing around violently and growling furiously. He finally managed to throw Scotty off but Bernie was ready and didn’t give him a moment to rest. The two brothers rolled around hissing and scratching at each other with nothing but pure loathing masking their eyes.
Scotty looked back at Acorn, Deputy Puss Puss was a tough fighter but Bravery had gone to help the old cat. All around the Earth cats were winning and Scotty was just beginning to grow confident when even more of Fluffy Face’s reinforcements came out from everywhere. Bernie McMuffin looked up from his fight and saw about one hundred aliens coming to help their dictator. “Retreat!” He yelled. Scotty didn’t want to look like a coward but they were dreadfully out numbered. He waited until Acorn and Bravery shook away Deputy Puss Puss before he started running with Bernie.
The four cats ran toward the washer in the corner of the room. “Don’t let them get away!” Fluffy Face screamed.
“Hurry, get in!” Bernie said when they reached the transporting device.
“Do you know how to work this thing?” Bravery asked as she climbed in.
Bernie McMuffin, the former alien cat spy, nodded. Once they were all in the washer he hit a button with his paw just in time for several guards to smack right into the door that had not been there a second ago. And the four cats were transported back to Earth.
They appeared in Bernie McMuffin’s home. Bernie looked around, it seemed a bit odd, like he’d been away for years and his memories weren’t quite right. So much had happened since he was last here, taking a catnap.
The four cats hurried to an open window before any of his owners noticed them and ran down the street, to the dumpster where they usually met. The path was empty thankfully, but the cars going by smelled horrid. Even the stench of the dumpster couldn’t match up with the disgusting human contraptions.
Bravery sat down on the bricked ground of the alley with a sigh. “What now?” Her voice was full of uneasiness.
Acorn was the first to speak up. “We warn everyone don’t we?” They all thought for a minute. Everything that had happened in the past few hours seemed to finally settle in. War was upon them, they had to choose between protecting the humans and betraying their own kind or joining the aliens and becoming the very thing they hated, dictators. Fluffy Face already had one planet, and heq destroyed everything good about it. Now he was after another and wouldn’t stop till he got what he wanted.
“No.” Bernie spoke suddenly. “We only tell the people who we know will resist. We don’t need to start a civil war right in our own alley.” They all nodded and Bernie continued. “Bravery, I need you to get together everyone that has ever before mentioned being against The Fluffalump dictatorship and tell them to meet in my backyard at midnight tonight. Scotty, you’re going to be the spy, do not draw attention to yourself but listen closely to what all the other cats in the neighborhood are saying.”
“What about me? Acorn asked.
Bernie looked hesitant. “I was hoping to avoid it but you and I are going to the junkyard.”
Acorn looked shocked. “You’re not thinking about-“
“Unfortunately I am. We need someone who knows about the things happening on Planet Fluffalump.” Bernie looked like he was trying to convince himself.
“But he’s-“
“Yes, I know. He is crazy.”